Comma Living

Until a few months ago, I lived a very "run-on-sentence" life.  In my mind, there was too much to be done to come to a complete stop.  I should always be doing something - to show God how thankful I am; that He can use me.  That's what good Christians do, right?  They sacrifice.  Work tirelessly.  Selflessly.  And let's face it: people like it when you're available 24/7. No one else is going to set boundaries for you.  As Emily Freeman says, "Life doesn't have corners - we create our own stops, our own spaces".

The thing is, the run-on life soon ran out.  There was no life.  It was just words.  Endless, streaming, novels full of passion and ideas and impression management and worries and wondering and nonsense. Some of it was beautiful.  But a lot of it was noise.  

And then the words ran out.  I had nothing more to give.  Didn't want to even if I had.  I was dry and brittle and resentful.  But I was too afraid to let other people know that.  So I hid.  I made up words, or repeated old phrases that sounded good.  My relationships were reduced to 'sound bites'.

But then, God gave me a priceless gift:  time.  He orchestrated a sabbatical for my husband and me.  6 weeks with no commitments, no have-to's or should's; no deadlines or to do lists (not even phones!!)  I can't explain how humbling it is to be allowed to hit "pause" on your life. All I know is, I'll thank Him every single day by living differently because of what I learned during the pause.

From now on I want to pursue "comma living".  Where the words of my life are refreshing, sometimes beautiful, sometimes challenging, sometimes just funny.  But in the midst of the pages and paragraphs - I want to pause.  You know: like a comma.  It's not a full stop - the story keeps going.  But there's a beautiful comma that gives the reader a chance to pause and reflect, or wonder or just catch your breath.  Without the commas, the story can't take shape.  It gets confusing.  Or worse, misunderstood. Commas are like the margins on the page: they don't change what's being said, they just give it structure so it can be correctly understood and appreciated.

So I'm done with 'run-on' living.  I want to embrace 'comma living'.  Paying attention to the meter of the story of my life, and pausing at times to reflect, remember or rest.