Taste and See

"Taste and see that the LORD is good." - Psalm 34:8  I've heard this verse all my life and always associate it with my need to remember that God is good.  I love the confidence that exudes from that verse.  Almost like a cosmic 'taunt':  'Go ahead. See for yourself.'

But why taste? Of all the senses, why that one?  Why not ,"Look here. You can see that God is good."  or "Listen:  you'll hear that God is good." I've been mulling that over the past couple days...

I wonder if the Psalmist had told us to "Look and see that God is good", would I doubt?  Would I be tempted to rub my eyes in disbelief?  Like he's a master salesman, tricking me into thinking that something mediocre (or even bad) is actually good? Especially when things around me clearly aren't good...would I still be convinced that God is good, just by looking? I'm not sure.  (There's a reason "I couldn't believe my eyes!" is a thing.)

Or how about Listen?  Listen - and hear that God is good.  I used to think the words to the Michael W Smith song were "Go West young man, don't even go East."  (There are entire websites dedicated to misheard song lyrics.  It's actually pretty funny.) But for obvious reasons, I don't think I would trust just on the basis of my hearing.

But taste; tasting is different.  I can't fool myself about something in my mouth.  The thousands of taste buds in there tell me if something is salty or sweet or bitter.  "Taste buds tell your brain whether or not to swallow what's already in your mouth."  So if I'm tasting something good, you'd better believe I'm going to swallow it.  Take it in completely.  And when I ingest something, it is absorbed into my body, and makes changes to the chemical balance in my system.

In that sense, taste is the perfect verb to experience the inherent good-ness of God.  'Come here. Sample. Swallow. Ingest.  Don't be deceived by what your eyes see, or confused by what your ears hear.  Taste.  Definitively know that God is good.'

Then trust in that good-ness.

What a Difference a Day Makes

My thoughts are all over the map today, so I don't know for sure what I think.  But I know what I feel; my heart feels heavy.  And sad.  And confused and a little scared.  And very disappointed.

On Thursday, American Christians were praising the people of Emmanuel AME Church in South Carolina for their sacrificial love: forgiving and showing mercy and extreme grace in the face of gross injustice.  There were posts and 'likes' and comments and promises of prayers.  Our church joined hundreds of other churches across the country and around the world in 'standing with our brothers and sisters and declaring they will not grieve alone'.   The Church (big C) looked good as Jesus' brand of selfless love was reflected to the watching world. "Hate is powerful but love is more powerful." Amen.

On Friday, American Christians are once again posting and 'liking' and commenting, but this time on the SC's decision to legalize same-sex marriage and I feel sad to the point of 'sick'. How could the Church be so united one day and so divided the next?  Are we really that fickle?  That short-sighted? 

I'm not even talking about the decision.  That's an entirely different issue.  I'm sad today about some Christians' very public response.  The underlying (and sometimes overt) message I hear in so many comments is "We're right, you're wrong, and we're going to hold on to that 'rightness' in the name of Jesus because we have to stand up for what we believe!"  I fear that's the message the world is hearing too.  And as I'm called to be like Jesus, who 'only did what I he saw the Father doing', I'm asking myself if that's the message he would be speaking.  I don't see Jesus defending himself and his 'rightness' (though he, of all people could have). He didn't stir up the disciples to defend him.  (In fact, he rebuked Peter for defending him in the garden).  I don't see Jesus hunting down the adulteress to say that he loves her, he just hates her sin.  When the issue was forced on him in John 8, he didn't respond with bible verses, or even well-thought arguments.  He gently reminded everyone that they too, sin.  They too are wrong.  And so am I.  In more ways that I want to admit.

But Jesus also didn't ignore her sin.  He just reminded her that she was made to live a better way.  "Neither do I condemn you; go and from now on sin no more".  I often wonder if she did.  Was her life forever different because Jesus loved her enough to not condemn her sin, but challenge her to change?

That's the posture I want to have.  I don't want to condemn others for sin.  I can't.  I sin too.  But I do want to challenge it, and have it challenged in me.  And by doing so, point to a better way by walking that way myself.  Hate is powerful but love is more powerful.

A Thousand Little Deaths

So I've been in kind of a funk the past couple of weeks.  Someone said something that really hurt.  It was unfair (though maybe not entirely untrue).  But the way they said it, and the time they said it was so wrong it lessened my respect for them. And it wasn't a little comment, it became a rant.  And others joined in.  And friends sat in silence.  Yeah. Painful. Hence the funk.

I've been holding my 'righteous indignation' like a comforting teddy bear.  It didn't actually make me feel any better; I just thought it did.  I had daydreams about what I would say to these people next time I see them.  (You know, the scenarios where you have the perfect come-back or the most generous forgiveness??)  I had to force myself to go places I thought they might be.  I'd rather be anywhere else. 

But after a couple of 'funky' weeks, I'm even irritating myself.  This has to stop.  

So yesterday, I decided to pick up a really good book I hadn't finished yet.  I found my bookmark and began to read...and experienced that sweet, Holy Spirit 'slap in the face'. The kind of 'ouch' that comes when you realize you've been wrong, but you didn't see it until this moment.  The one that shows you how your 'righteous indignation' has been anything but righteous.  The 'sweet slap' where you are convicted but not condemned.  That's when I know it's the Holy Spirit.  Only He can do that.  And He's really good at it.

I've been holding onto that perceived injustice like a badge of honor.  And I have to let it go. What they said was still unfair.  Their timing and tone was still wrong.  But the way I've let it color my feelings about the whole group has been wrong of me.  I'm learning I have to go back to my Father and ask Him to remind me what is true: about the situation, about those people, about me.  I have to remember that I have been crucified with Christ - and I no longer live, but He lives in me.  I've already died to worrying about what other people think of me.  But today I die to that again.  And knowing me, I'll have to die to it again tomorrow. I'll have to die a thousand little deaths until I can embrace the new life God has for me.

But more than anything, I want to say "Yes" to that life.  So I have to let this go.  I have to forgive.  I have to ask God what in their words rings true? Why did it hurt so much? What is He wanting to deal with in me?